I had to spend three days in hospital last week. It was a six bed hospital room and I was by far the youngest. In the bed opposite was a 95 year old lady. She had a chest infection and was very very confused. She didn’t know where she was and why she was there. Nobody came to visit her. The hospital was waiting for a bed on the geriatric ward to become available. She cried during the night and was pleading with God: Please come and get me Lord. Please take me. I can’t do this anymore. What have I done wrong? Why do you punish me so. Please make me go to sleep forever!
It made me think. Even in her confused state she still remembered God. Her faith must have been strong throughout the years. God is the only one that can give her relive from her pains. To be absolutely honest I can fully understand her wish to die. At 95 she has had enough and wants to rest. And why is God doing that to her, if there is a God? Sometimes people say that you don’t die because God still has a purpose for you. Really? What world changing purpose has this ill old woman? I am not sounding mean, but having heard and seen the suffering and pain of this woman I am truly asking the Why? question.
I used to be a Christian and was very active in our local parish, but my beliefs have changed over the years for that very reason: If there is an almighty God, why the unnecessary suffering? There are other reasons for my stepping off the ‘Christian train’, but this is one of them.