One wish…

Haruki Murakami is my favourite author. I have all his books in German and in English. Sadly I don’t speak Japanese otherwise I would have them all in the original language too. The book ‘Birthday Girl’ is only available in German at the moment. It was on pre-order on and arrived last Saturday. It’s a short story with illustrations. It’s about a girl that works in a restaurant. The mysterious owner has his dinner delivered every night at the same time by the manager. One night the manager is taken ill and she is asked to take the dinner to the owner. It happens to be her 21st birthday as well. She knocks on his door and he opens it and asks her to sit down. In the conversation their having she reveals that it’s her birthday that day. He grants her one wish…one wish only, that can’t be taken back and she has to live with the consequences of that wish. The story never reveals her wish. It stays a mystery.

If I had one wish just one wish…call me shallow…I would like to be a size 16 (UK) and stay that forever. I don’t want money, but I think going back to the size I used to be before all the surgery and medications would make me very very happy. I know it’s really shallow and selfish but if I had one wish, I could live with the consequences of being healthier and slimmer. What would your wish be? A personal one? I know we all want world peace and all that. I want to know your personal wish. Just one and the consequences it would have you could live with???

5 years ago I was a size 16. 

Frazzled by Ruby Wax

I actually read this book in one day. There is a part were she describes a six week mindfulness program which I haven’t tried out yet. I like Ruby’s honesty about her mental illness and I find her style very funny. There are very few books that evoke strong emotions in me, but this book made me laugh. It really shows the importance of “Mindfullness”. I know this has become the new ‘in’ thing to do. But I guess you could also call it meditation or daily time out. Giving the brain a rest from constant over thinking and thinking. Giving it a breather. I think my brain could certainly do with a daily dose of rest 😉 It’s an easy read but she does explain the brain science behind mindfulness in a very easy and understandable way. I highly recommend this book. Enjoy x


A friend of mine pointed out a guy to me the other day who plays the Shakuhachi flute. This is a flute from Japan. It can be used as a meditation flute. So I thought, as I can play all sorts of woodwind already, I will give this one a go. I ordered one on eBay and it arrived on Saturday. Here is a picture of it:

I unwrapped the parcel in great anticipation. Got the flute out and wanted to play it, only to realise I could not get a single tone out of it. I watched a few You-tube videos explaining how to play it, because apparently the embochure (lip tension) needs to be just right. I can play the normal flute and to get the embochure right for that wasn’t easy, but this one was hard. Seriously hard. Here is a picture of the ‘blowing hole’:

I didn’t want to admit defeat. So I tried for a good 1hr 30 min. Despite feeling faint from all the blowing of air I achieved nothing. I wrote to the guy on Facebook. His name is Tea Roman and he is seriously good at this. He told me that I need patience and a lot of practise and it is like no other woodwind instrument. No kidding 😉 Anyway, after I practised so much that my jaw hurt on Saturday I ahven’t touched the flute since. I want to give up straight away, as unlike other instruments before, I did not get instant gratification and success from this one. 

This made me think. Why is it that I give up so easily now? I marine a child that learns to walk. They fall over several time before they manage to walk properly. Or riding a bike or swimming. A lot of activities don’t give you instant success. Learning to drive is a process as well. So I am not sure where this comes from that I am giving up straight away at the first hurdle. Maybe as an adult we have failed at so many things that failure to do something is hurtful and embarrassing. Maybe we are not cutting ourselves any slack. I am certainly like that. I put myself under enourmous pressure to do things right and perfect and so on. I don’t like to fail. I mean who does? But failure makes us grow. Not being able to play this flute straight away is not a failure as such. And maybe because I need to cut myself some slack and be able to enjoy this new hobby I shouldn’t give up straight away. I should see this as a challenge. But I was never motivated by challenges. I am not one of those people who get motivated by trying to do something impossible, like run a marathon ;-). But on the other hand I need to start changing this attitude now, otherwise I will not learn new things right? I will keep you informed how it goes. Maybe I will even post a video of my efforts 😉