Why I chose to write in English!


Now that I have made my website and blog more public and shared it on Facebook as well, I have been asked several times why I write in English. I have lived for 22 years in Germany and for 17 years in the U.K. I have studied here. I have a BA in Language studies, an MA in Education and an MA in English Literature. I speak English every day and I dream in English. English comes more natural to me now. I have of course not forgotten my mother tongue, but I feel I have more words in English in the forefront of my mind.

To be honest I have always preferred English. In secondary school I got better marks in English than in German. I also find German a very harsh sounding language. English is not a very romantic language either 😉 but there are so many more words to describe something I find. I am not sure Goethe or Schiller would agree with me on this 😉

I know I still make spelling or grammar mistakes when I write in English, but to be honest, who doesn’t? I would also make a lot of mistakes if I was to write in German. Sometimes when people read my stuff they think they can recognise a German style in it. I am not sure if that is true. All our assignments at University were marked anonymously, and I never had feedback regarding my writing style. But maybe it is true because they say: You can take the girl out of Germany, but you can’t take Germany out of the girl 😉 x

Shall I take the leap of faith or wait?

I need your advise. Today is the deadline to send in the first 5000-8000 words of your novel. If you I am shortlisted they want the complete work by the 1st September. I can do that within the time frame. The only draw back is a £20 fee to enter into the competition and also I am scared. What shall I do. Send the first few chapters of the novel, with the chance of getting a publishing deal and actually wining some money, or shall I finish the novel and wait to hand it in somewhere else. I want to enter it into the Bridport prize competition as you can win this publishing deal. Shall I spend the £20 and risk it? Or wait and refine the book and have an actual finished novel? What would you do? Thank you x

Happy by Fearne Cotton

I read this book in one sitting. I skipped the exercises to be honest. The lay out is very pretty and feminine but the content is a different matter. I felt the book is quite superficial. If you have never read a book about depression than maybe this book is ok. If you however, like myself, have read many self help books about depression, moods or happiness than this book will disappoint you. It disappointed me. It only scratches the surface. I like books that go deep and I would have liked some deeper insides on how Fearne sealed with her depression, but it is not that kind of book. I also found the way the book is presented very jumpy. You are reading one story about something and all for sudden on the next page she is talking about something else and a page later goes back to the previous topic. If you are looking for a deep and meaningful account of how to deal with depression, this book isn’t it.

10 rules of serenity


Pope John XXIII (1881-1963) came up with 10 rules of serenity. You could call them commandments, but these rules don’t only apply to religious people but can be very helpful in everyday live for everybody. So I call the rules and not commandments.

Rule 1: Just let the day unfold in front of you. See what happens and what it has to offer. 

Rule 2: Look at your self very closely. How do you treat your self and others. Treat yourself with more respect. 

Rule 3: You are allowed to be happy here and now. Happiness come from within and not from somewhere else. You always carry it around with you.

Rule 4: We often feel let down by circumstances. Life would be easier if we just accept things as they are.

Rule 5: Reading is important. Read every day, as your mind needs feeding and it’s good for the soul, just as food is for the body.

Rule 6: Do something good everyday, but don’t tell anyone. A randomn act of kindness.

Rule 7: Do something you really don’t enjoy, but don’t be in a bad mood about it.

Rule 8: Plan an entire day in great detail and try to stick to it. This will help you not to rush or be indecisive.

Rule 9: Don’t be scared to be alone. Take some time by yourself. Enjoy your own company.

Rule 10: Trust. have some trust in the greater good and that everything will be as it’s meant to be.

Wow…Which one of these would you find the hardest? I find rule 7 quite a challenge, as I always avoid doing things I really don’t like, and yes I am in a bad mood if I end up having to do them.

The caravan is moving on

I am sure a lot of us have experienced this before. You feel really passionate about a new idea or a project and you are bursting with enthusiasm, but when you tell others about it, it feels like you hit a brick wall at 100 miles an hour. Or sometimes when you have reached a goal and feel incredibly proud, you can hear some people moan and groan and belittle what you have achieved. In most cases it has something to do with them, If they can’t be happy for you than they must be very dissatisfied with their own lives. 

There is an old saying that come from Turkey that says: The dogs are barking, but the caravan is moving on! In some Muslim countries a dog is considered as impure or unclean, but the camel is supposed to be wise. After all only the camel knows the hundredth name of Allah. What this wisdom is saying is, that despite the barking opponent the caravan does not leave the path they are meant to go on. They focus on the ultimate goal.

How often have I told somebody about my plans, dreams, wishes or goals and was talked down? How often have I felt proud of an achievement, but my opponent belittled it? Not this time I can tell you. This time I am focused on the goal of becoming a published author and nobody can talk me out of perusing my path. Keep on barking all you want. I can already hear certain people saying that this is crazy and that I will never succeed. Never mind. I am going to follow this dream and see what happens. I haven’t given up my day time job yet, so I have not gone completely crazy yet 😉

Chasing my dream

My dream is to be a writer. For a long time I have been procrastinating. I felt like I had no imagination or creativity left in me. Due to my recent illness and surgery I now have a lot of time to think and recover. I have had many jobs in the past, as I may have mentioned before, but none of them felt quite right. I have now finally started to write a book, a murder mystery and have also send a couple of things away to be read by publishers. It is a baby step towards my dream.

Every single person that follows me and reads my stuff either here, on Twitter or on Facebook supports me in fulfilling my dream and I wanted to say a big ‘THANK YOU’ to all my followers. It means much more than you realise to me xxx

The blind men and the elephant

Reality can be seen from a variety of different perspectives. I came across the story about the ‘Blind men and the elephant’ today and thought I’ll share it with you.

Six blind men wanted to get a picture of an elephant by purely feeling him, through touch. Each of them was only allowed to feel one part of the elephant. The first one said: ‘An elephant is like a big column’ because he was feeling the leg. ‘No you are wrong’ said the second one: ‘An elephant is like a rope’, he was feeling the tail. ‘No, an elephant is like a big branch’ said the third one who was feeling the trunk. ‘It is more like a massive hand held fan’ said the fourth one, who was feeling an ear. ‘It’s rather a great big wall’ said the fifth one, who was feeling the belly of the elephant. ‘No, you are all wrong. It is like a big pipe, said the sixth one, who was feeling a tusk. 

I really like this story as it shows that they were all right. It just depends on the perspective. Each of them was so determined that they were right, when in fact they all were. This made me think. Is there somebody in my life I should show more tolerance? In what area am I too harsh with myself? Where have I insisted on being right when in fact there was more than one truth?

The Flying Carpet

Happiness manifests itself in a variety of shapes and forms. A cup of coffee can make you just as happy and relaxing as a hot bath or meditation. If we learn to relax in stressful situations we are able to take the pressure of and function better. A holiday can make you really happy. A different environment, new places to see can refresh the body and the soul. The difficulty with a holiday is that it is not always possible to take a holiday. I have recently discovered how helpful meditation can be here. I am following a program that uses images for meditation. So when I meditate I have an image of a new place in my head. I imagine this in great detail, even how the foods might taste. This meditation is like a mini break for my mind and it feels really refreshing. I am not a patient person and I can’t sit or lay still for long, so my meditation last between 2o and 30 minutes. Everybody has to start somewhere. 

I sometimes imagine myself on a flying carpet. It’s like fantasy travel. I have the air blowing in my hair and I can see everything from above, or just be taken by the carpet where it wants me to go looking at the passing clouds, feeling very relaxed. I can highly recommend this technique. Focus on what you can see and feel. Travel wherever your ant to go and when you had enough the carpet will bring you back to reality. I always lay on my favourite big colourful throw for meditation, as the carpets I have in my house are a very boring beige colour. Give it a go 😉 xxx

The Man Who Risked It All

I found this book in a bookshop in Glastonbury. Reading the text on the back I was hoping that this book would touch me on an emotional level…but it didn’t.

Alan is trying to commit suicide by jumping from the top of the Eifel tower. A mysterious man is stopping him from doing so and Alan strikes a deal with him. If Alan can full fill all the tasks he is given by Monsiuer Dubrielle (the mysterious stranger) he will win his freedom back. Alan agrees and has to do some pretty weird tasks in order to help him gain more confidence and more joy in life.

The book has a very slow pace and only in the last part of the book is it getting remotely interesting. I found this book boring and uninspiring. It was published by Hay House who normally bring out very inspirational books…well this one wasn’t one of them.

Persian Carpet

Persian carpets are not very fashionable anymore, nevertheless the are very precious. Every carpet is made by hand and it takes hours and hours to make one. But all the work is worth it in the end, as the finished product looks amazing.

There is also an interesting fact about them, which I found out the other day. In each carpet there is a deliberate mistake, which is unique to every carpet. This fault is meant to represent the imperfection of mankind. No human being is perfect, only God is seen as perfect and faultless. 

The carpet is meant to teach us that however hard we try we will never be perfect. So why don’t we just lean back and relax and stop trying, as there is nothing we can do about it. Enjoy your mistakes and faults.  And after all these little faults make us unique! X