The winner takes it all

I haven’t written a blog in a while because I had a lot going on in my life. My husband and I are separating. I wasn’t sure whether to write something about it in a blog. At the moment I am in the process of moving my stuff out of the house. As I was driving along they played the ABBA song: The winner takes it all. Listening to the lyrics very carefully I could feel myself welling up with tears again, as I do so often lately. It made me think that there are no winners or losers when it comes to splitting up, not when it comes to emotions.

Although I was the one that ultimately said that I was unhappy, it still hurts a lot. It hurts to know that I hurt somebody else so deeply. Moving all of my stuff out of the house we have lived in for almost ten years, feels like I am taking my life apart, one piece at a time. And of course there have been happy times. Every now and again I come across a reminder of those as well.

There is also confusion and uncertainty. Am I doing the right thing? Am I leaving too soon? What comes next? But I can say for sure that there is no winner when it comes to splitting up. It just hurts. Maybe in a while I can reflect on this part of my life in a different way or go into more details. Right now I am finding it hard to find the right words.