A blessing and a curse

It’s been quiet here lately, as I have been thinking a lot about our choice to move back to Germany.

In the past, when I lived in the UK, I have always seen it as a blessing to have experienced and lived in another country. I always saw it as enriching and a valuable trade to have, to come from a different cultural background. But lately I have come to see it also as a curse.

I find myself constantly comparing the two countries. I can see the positive and the negative aspects of both countries. Although I am German, I have been struggling to fit back in over here. I am struggling in particular with the directness and almost rudeness of my fellow human beings, but I also find all this red tape and the rules very wearying.

There is things I experience at work and privately, that sound almost unbelievable. I always take a step back then and have to look at the individual person and not to see it as a trade of all Germans. But there is still the issue of bureaucracy and some ridiculous rules, that are very German.

I have to go back to University to study three modules of German to be able to be fully recognised as a teacher over here. I had a meeting at Uni with some Lecturers last Friday and when I told them my story they shook their heads in disbelief. Just like me, they could not understand why I am being made to jump through hoops, although I am more than qualified to do my job.

I qualified as a teacher in the UK in 2009, I have lived in England for nearly 20 years. I taught German most of the time, yet in Germany I have to proof myself all over again. I knew that there would be some issues coming here, but that it is that hard I did not foresee.

I am constantly finding myself to weigh up the benefits of living here and the disadvantages. The same vice versa. And this is what I mean it is also a curse. I have seen the other side, so to speak. I know what life in the UK is like – well what it was like before the BREXIT.

After almost 20 years I find myself more English than German. I had my struggles over there too, don’t get me wrong. So, in the UK I was a foreigners, for obvious reasons and here I feel foreign, because I can’t get used to certain cultural aspects. Once again I am stuck in the middle.

This week however I have come to the conclusion: Que sera sera. Whatever will be will be. Let’s see how far I get with that.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend 😘

5 thoughts on “A blessing and a curse

  1. Britta, you need to decide and then you stick with it and you make it work. That’s what I did and I’m living in Dorset and will make the most of it.
    Constant dithering doesn’t get us anywhere, go for it wholeheartedly.
    The most unhappy people I know are the ones who are weighing up pros and cons all the time and wait for the perfect opportunity to go back. This opportunity never really comes and they have waisted their life and become bitter.
    You are strong, you will get there,Britta!
    Sending Love and Strength, Ellen xx

    Liked by 1 person

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