It’s been quiet here lately, as I have been thinking a lot about our choice to move back to Germany.

In the past, when I lived in the UK, I have always seen it as a blessing to have experienced and lived in another country. I always saw it as enriching and a valuable trade to have, to come from a different cultural background. But lately I have come to see it also as a curse.

I find myself constantly comparing the two countries. I can see the positive and the negative aspects of both countries. Although I am German, I have been struggling to fit back in over here. I am struggling in particular with the directness and almost rudeness of my fellow human beings, but I also find all this red tape and the rules very wearying.

There is things I experience at work and privately, that sound almost unbelievable. I always take a step back then and have to look at the individual person and not to see it as a trade of all Germans. But there is still the issue of bureaucracy and some ridiculous rules, that are very German.

I have to go back to University to study three modules of German to be able to be fully recognised as a teacher over here. I had a meeting at Uni with some Lecturers last Friday and when I told them my story they shook their heads in disbelief. Just like me, they could not understand why I am being made to jump through hoops, although I am more than qualified to do my job.

I qualified as a teacher in the UK in 2009, I have lived in England for nearly 20 years. I taught German most of the time, yet in Germany I have to proof myself all over again. I knew that there would be some issues coming here, but that it is that hard I did not foresee.

I am constantly finding myself to weigh up the benefits of living here and the disadvantages. The same vice versa. And this is what I mean it is also a curse. I have seen the other side, so to speak. I know what life in the UK is like – well what it was like before the BREXIT.

After almost 20 years I find myself more English than German. I had my struggles over there too, don’t get me wrong. So, in the UK I was a foreigners, for obvious reasons and here I feel foreign, because I can’t get used to certain cultural aspects. Once again I am stuck in the middle.

This week however I have come to the conclusion: Que sera sera. Whatever will be will be. Let’s see how far I get with that.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend 😘