A letter to my Landlord #642thingstowriteabout

Dear Landlord

I have been renting this house from you now for 8 years and I have always been happy here. But the time has come for me to move out and I will tell you the reason why.

The neighbours one house down are very quiet. They are a pleasure to live next to. It is as if they aren’t even there. A dream. I don’t even know their names and I like it that way.

Now let’s talk about the neighbours that live one house up. Well, what can I tell you?

The couple one house up had twins about four years ago. In the beginning it was fine. When the babies were tiny I couldn’t hear them scream or anything, but as they have been getting older and their voices louder, life has become unbearable here. I dare you to live here for a week, just so you know what I am talking about. There are multiple stories to tell. For example today. I had gotten up early to do some Christmas shopping, so i don’t run into too many people. When I got home I needed to catch up on some sleep. I was just about to nod off when there was a big commotion outside. I could hear shouting and screaming and crying. The neighbours had also just got back from a sopping trip and the father was shouting at the twins, twin boys by the way, to get inside. One of the boys is very naughty and his name is shouted a lot, whilst the other one seems a bit of a mummy’s boy. Anyway, so yes the father was shouting really loudly for them to get in, the way you would shout at a dog really. Eventually after 10 minutes of continuous crying and shouting it calmed down outside. Another example is their daily dinner at around 5pm. I can even hear when they are cutting their food. The mother seems to be deaf or something. Whilst the boys beat each other up in the living room, she is blissfully cooking away in the kitchen. Meanwhile the scream are getting louder and louder until eventually she tells them off. The mother spends a good 70% of her time in the kitchen and I ma beginning to think she does it on purpose. So every night Johnny, the naughty twin, screams his head off when it comes to eating his dinner. i ma not joking every single night! He gets send to his room, and called down again, screams again and so on. In the morning when they leave for school the same thing occurs. Every morning 8am Johnny starts his screaming. When both of them are at school the couple is rowing. It got so far the other day that I send her an email asking her if she is ok or if I should call the police. He shouts and shouts and when it gets too much she starts singing. Yes singing! His voice is so loud that I can understand every word he says when he is on the phone.

As you can gather I am not a people person and if I wanted kid’s screaming I would have had some by now. That’s why I am handing in my notice for this house and I would like to move out by the end of this month.

Thank you for your understanding.